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The complete and illustrated guide to

Jurassic Park II - The Lost World

by Captain W. Bligh

Special souvenir edition with seven full-colour plates.

First published in October 1997 by Bounty Entertainment plc

© Bounty Entertainment plc MCMXCVII and MCMXCVIII.
® Jurassic is a registered trade park of the Natural History Mausoleum
® Wombledon is a registered common of Merton Cretaceous Council
® Bounty is a registered ship of A-martian-a-day Chocolate plc
® Leeandron is a registered asteroid of IBM (USA) Inc.
® Dinosaur is a registered creature of God plc

Introduction

The Dinosaurs originally flourished in a small area in the South West of London, close to Wombledon Common (hence the name 'Wombledonian Period'). Later, the Dinosaurs moved to a barren area characterised by outcrops of sedentary rocks, full of fossils, and known as 'Jurassic Park', close to today's Heathrow Airport. This period became known as the 'Jurassic Period'.

Now when famine struck during the Wombledonian and early Jurassic periods, a few Dinosaurs migrated to the US continent, where they flourished and expanded the influence of the European dynasty in the New World, as well as moving up the food chain and lounging on the beach improving their tan.

The remaining Dinosaurs flourished unhindered for a while during the reign of the T. Rex, then, early in the Jurassic Period, the Leeandron Asteroid crashed into southern California, causing cataclysmic changes in climate there, which resulted in many American species of Dinosaur dying out. Though archaeologists originally thought that the Dinosaurs died out altogether as a result of the impact of Leeandron, the latest studies show that many species managed to adapt to the new conditions and actually survived.

Then after the Friday 13th massacre, no clear leader of the Wombledonian troupe emerged, though the Tarbrushosaurus tended to think of himself as the leader of the pack. The result was that the dinosaurs trampled freely over Jurassic Park.

Dinosaur Dictionary

Key: green for plant-eaters, blue for insect eaters low down the food chain, and red for carnivores

ADRIANODON. Small plant eater with fused knee-joints, this egg-laying Dinosaur was prone to domestication, and was known to have sat on its nest for weeks while the female said she was off in search of food. A great survivor, the Adrianodon flourished well into the Jurassic period.

Plate 1. A nest of small Adrianodons which were the inevitable consequence
of this Dinosaur’s domesticated approach to life.

Cheep Cheep! Is it chicken tonight?

AKINTILLITSBREAKINGNOTHUS. This short-lived Dinosaur appeared briefly during the Wombledonian Period, and was believed to have eaten plants, although people don't really know what it did.

ALEXOSAURUS. Shapely Dinosaur with an attractive gait, this Dinosaur was originally a plant-eater, but through steady evolution slowly developed meat-eating tendencies, eventually becoming one of the most successful carnivorous hunters that caught much prey for the benefit of roaming herds of smaller Dinosaurs. A great survivor, this Dinosaur was one of the longest living species of all.

ANDYLEMAZINGNOTHUS. Plant-eater with meat-eating tendencies, this Dinosaur was about 4 foot high and always sported a fashionable neck frill. Tended to move from herd to herd, grazing promiscuously wherever food was available.

ATKINSONOPOD. Irritable egg-laying plant-eater that usually grazed alone, this Dinosaur was believed to have been no more than 2 foot high. As a pack leader, the Atkinsonopod rarely managed to exert any real control over the wild Duggodons and Husseysaurs in its pack, that tended to spend weeks and weeks flicking the bands that grew on the local rubber trees at each other. To offset its low stature, later Atkinsonopod specimens constructed an especially tall nest, which scientists call a 'Tower', on which the Dinosaur sat throughout the late-Wombledonian and entire Jurassic Period.

BECKMANOPOD. Flightless plant-eating Ornithopod that quickly died out owing to its irritable nature and great weight that prevented it ever flying.

BILLFRENCHODON. Intelligent plant-eating messenger Dinosaur, this beast spent a lot of time grazing at yon bonnie bank. Has expressed a desire to eat meat, but yet to prove that his teeth are up to the job.

CULLOMOSAURUS. A gentle carnivore, this Dinosaur was approximately 4' 6'' high. A distinguishing feature is the oversize right ear resembling a built-in mobile phone. This enabled the Cullomosaurus to talk to other Dinosaurs 24 hours a day, and was useful for making emergency calls, for example when the aggressive female of the species drove it into the garage. This dinosaur was last seen running for a better view from the highground.

CHARLOSAUNDUS. Plant-eater that appeared only at the very end of the Wombledonian Period, this strong and energetic Dinosaur could uproot larger trees for the choicest leaves, allowing the Notalotuptops to survive in its wake.

CHAMBERPOD. Meat-eating hunter-killer that roamed the northern marches, this Dinosaur had an acid tongue that stunned its prey - usually female - into total submission.

CHEESEOSAUR MINOR. Tall, astute plant-eater with a good brain, the Cheeseosaur Minor would trap females with its attractive mating display.

CHEESEOSAUR MAJOR. Scientists were convinced that the Cheeseosaur Major was related to the Cheeseosaur Minor, but have always been at a loss to explain the different evolutionary strategies and mating patterns. The Cheeseosaur Major was believed to have become extinct in the mid-Wombledonian Period, but a recent siting in South Africa has provided support for the 'alien invasion' hypothesis. Proponents have suggested that the early reptilian inhabitants of the nearest star, Arthur Centuri, may have launched interstellar space capsules containing cloned dinosaur foetuses in order for the race to survive an impending catastrophe. Detailed studies of the Cheeseosaur Major's DNA structure have shown that it was indeed descended from these so-called Arthur Androids, and this might explain its peculiar behaviour. For whilst the Cheeseosaur Major was a highly efficient plant eater, the only culture it appears to have experienced during its early years was during the long journey to Earth stuck in an agar dish . Scientists believe there were six major invasions of this type, yet although Arthur Androids was the largest of the big six, its cloning policy produced exceptionally low quality beings.

CHRISODON. Astute plant-eater that became a key member of the Graemosaurus's Herd from the middle of the Wombledonian Period. Flourished in the Jurassic Period.

DIZZEOSAUR. Smooth-skinned aquatic dinosaur with heavy fins and shiny head, no specimen has ever been found with complete genitalia. A great survivor, this Dinosaur would dive to 10,000 feet as soon as trouble appeared. Prone to fumbling on the sea-bed.

Plate 2. A Dizzeosaur slowly closing in on a small prospect somewhere near the sea-bed.

Snap Snap! Another 50p-worth of business!

DUGGODON. Tall, dark plant-eater, this Dinosaur was one of the first to appear, and flourished for a while, until in fact Tysontosaurus denied it any resources. This caused the species to wither badly during the late Wombledonian and early Jurassic Period, but the Duggodon always managed to maintain a voracious appetite for the female of the species, and, together with the Philodon and Chamberpod, moved to pastures new, where it could flourish once again.

FELIXOSAURUS. Fast-moving plant-eater that could travel at well over 100 m.p.h. without (usually) getting caught, this good-natured Dinosaur had a happy smile, after which it was named.

Plate 3. Fleet-footed Felixosaurus into fifth gear.

Oh shit there's a gatso-fly-trap ahead! Screeeeech!

GRAEMOSAURUS. Tall, grey plant-eater, with a good-sized brain, the Graemosaurus was a great tactician. This Dinosaur had unusually shiny shoulders, to which nothing would stick. This, together with a very flexible neck which allowed it to duck at great speed as soon as anything was flying, were the secrets of its evolutionary success. Flourished whilst the T. Rex was around, but after a fierce battle with Tysontosaurus towards the end of the Wombledonian period, this Dinosaur was never seen again.

Plate 4. A Graemosaurus Herd on the move. Note the smooth shoulders and
flexible neck. The smaller members of the herd, one just visible smothered
in desert dust, were rarely looked after properly.

I must escape from the Tysontosaurus!

GRANDADODON. The bad-natured Grandadodon was a technically gifted plant-eater that died out because it never managed to work out how to approach the female of the species without unending and vicious fights. The Grandadodon had weak forearms, and its head was prone to collapse into its food after drinking too much at the water-hole.

Plate 5. The irritable Grandadodon. Note the weak forearms.

Grrrr! I should have shot her! Never go through divorce proceedings! Grrrrrr!

HAWKYOPTERYX. One of the few Dinosaurs that was both a plant-eater and meat-eater, this flying Dinosaur soared over the Northern Uplands, and could travel quickly to any location where suitable prey was found, for example it was known to be able to cross the Irish Sea when suitable prey was available in Ireland. The Hawkyopteryx appeared in the middle of the Wombledonian Period, and at first worked closely with the T. Rex. As a carnivore, the Hawkyopteryx was a highly successful hunter, though it could appear cautious owing to its careful strategic planning of its kills. As a plant-eater, the Hawkyopteryx worked with other vegetarians to systematically develop the harvesting of the jungle, spotting abundant supplies of nutritious vegetation from the air. The Hawkyopteryx flourished greatly in the mid-Jurassic Period, soon after the Leeandron impact, and about the time the Tarbrushosaurus died out in Britain. The Hawkyopteryx had a crushing hand-grip that could stun its prey, and was destined to be the first Dinosaur to introduce new methods, such as longer term management of wild animals - and ultimately their domestication - and other new farming methods, which could provide food for all.

Plate 6. A Hawkyopteryx eagerly taking up its new position in charge of all British carnivores.

We're winning!

LEONOPOD. Very heavy plant-eater with an overweight appearance, this Dinosaur became extinct after vicious attacks from the Tysontosaurus.

MACOSAUR. The Macosaur was a long-lived dinosaur with a very smooth skin. This carnivore tended to migrate a fair bit, first to the Carribean islands, then to Hibernia, then back to its home base in the wilds of the Caledonian Uplands. It's slippery tongue could charm its prey into total submission. Tended to go for other dinosaurs' Widows.

MAJORODON. Recent studies have shown that this well armoured plant-eating Dinosaur migrated daily thousands of miles from its heavily defended lair in the East Anglian Marshes to the fertile forests around the country. Once thought to have become extinct, the Majorodon turned out to have merely gone for an extended migration to look for more building materials, and later returned happily to the fold. The Majorodon's giant lair, which scientists call a 'Waco', takes about 194 years to build. During the construction period, the complex engineering effort tended to reduce its food gathering activities to the barest minimum for survival. In addition to strong hind legs, and agile forearms, the Majorodon is believed to carry two special side-arms tucked into its belt-line, which can be quickly pulled out to fend off Dinosaurs trying to attack its Waco.

Plate 7. A heavily armoured Majorodon in swampy East Anglian Fens, looking
desperately for more building materials for its Waco.

MIKYLOSAURUS. Small Dinosaur that pecked the skin of other Dinosaurs clean; often found on the back of T. Rex, and died out soon after T. Rex became extinct.

NOBBOTH (LONG NOSED). The Long Nosed Nobboth was not in fact a Dinosaur, being an early vegetarian mammal related to modern day elephants. The distinction was evident in its 'stand-back' approach to hunting, and the Nobboth's total lack of humour. The Nobboth first appeared in Germany, but after pushing the T. Rex out of Britain through food competition during the mid-Wombledonian Period, could briefly be found in England, until the arrival of the Tysontosaurus which the Nobboth kept a close check on. The impact of the Leeandron ultimately made the Nobboth extinct altogether.

NOTALOTUPTOPS. This slow-moving plant-eater was a relative of Triceratops, but while it still had the large cheek pouches for chewing leaves, and a giant defensive neck frill, it lacked the horns of Triceratops. This Dinosaur owed its existence to staying close by other successful plant eaters that could break down larger vegetation, such as the Charlosaundus. The wide cheek pouches gave it a vacant, almost grinning appearance, hence the nickname 'Clueless'.

PAULINODON. Tall, fair skinned meat eater that hunted alone, this efficient hunter appeared easy going, but could frighten off smaller carnivores stalking the same prey with a ferocious stab of its long claws.

PENNYOSAURUS. Large plant-eater with massive thighs, the Pennyosaurus flourished in the early Wombledonian under T. Rex, but died out soon after the appearance of the Long Nosed Nobboth.

PHILODON. A plant-eating Dinosaur that organised the herds of smaller vegetarians with repeated kicks of its strong hind-legs, a strong will and clever politics allowed the ginger-coloured Philodon to thrive while the T. Rex was around, but the Philodon's evolutionary progress took a series of setbacks under the Tysontosaurus, and this Dinosaur eventually died out in the mid-Jurassic period, taking several others with it. Although this plant-eating Dinosaur appears to have been built for speed, very recent finds show that it may have been restricted to its nest for long periods, perhaps after having been caught moving at high speed. The Philodon had a tendency to bump into slower moving Dinosaurs at cross-roads.

PHILOSAURUS. Originally a plant eater in the Pre-Wombledonian period, this Dinosaur evolved into a fierce meat eater, but never lost its soft skin and silky touch. The Philosaur was a highly efficient hunter which always hunted alone. Its method was to stalk its prey for months on end, until in a moment of exhaustion, the prey collapsed to the ground and signed a contract out of sheer desperation. Caught more meat than any other Dinosaur, but its hunting strategy meant that some of its prey was weak and disease-ridden, causing stomach upsets for the Graemosaurus Herds that relied on the Philosaurus's kills. Moved to North America in the middle of the Jurassic Period.

ROSYLOSAURUS. Another 'cleaner' Dinosaur like the Mikylosaurus. The Rosylosaurus was usually found cleaning the folds of skin of the Tysontosaurus. Died out soon shortly after the Tysontosaurus died out.

SCRUFFOSAURUS. Tiny, quiet, energetic and highly successful plant-eater with a good brain, the Scruffosaurus formed a key part of the Graemosaurus's Herd. Disappeared at the beginning of the Jurassic period, but later discovered thriving at a site in Dublin.

SHEPPARDOSAURUS. Rugged plant-eating Dinosaur, that spoke only when strictly necessary, the Sheppardosaurus moved on all four limbs and could roam freely on or off the road. In practice, the Sheppardosaurus remained mostly in Caledonia, avoiding the in-fighting in Jurassic Park like the plague.

STROLINOSAUR. This Dinosaur, named after its easy-going walk, was an astute plant-eater, and had the distinction of being the only Dinosaur able to stand up to the T. Rex. Related to modern day kangaroos, this Dinosaur died out in the mid-Wombledonian Period, but later sitings show that it flourished briefly in California, before being side-lined after some nasty water-hole fights over there.

TARBRUSHOSAURUS. Low, dark-skinned, armoured carnivore, with heavy bone structure especially over the eyes. This carnivore was a scavenger that relied totally on other hunting dinosaurs for its daily rations. Moved to European locations in the early Jurassic Period, as a result of the changes following the Leeandron impact. The Tarbrushosaurus remained a scavenger as it could never quite understand any hunting method, and was particularly scornful of other successful hunters, though it owed its very existence to them.

T. REX. The tallest and fiercest meat-eating beast ever to walk the planet, the Tyrollysaurus Rex was a hunter-killer with fantastic vision. The Tyrollysaurus, which developed a characteristic stoop from having to bend under the forest canopy, put fear into its prey with a crushing hand-grip and intense initial questioning. After a long stalking period, the T. Rex would get to understand its prey’s thought process, and then closed in on the prospect’s weakest point. It liked to worked with other hunter-carnivores, but the feeling was not usually reciprocated. In fact hunting pacts with other Dinosaurs rarely lasted, owing to the Tyrollysaurus's fierce and unpredictable nature. Died out towards the end of the Wombledonian Period, after severe territory loss to the Long Nosed Nobboth.

TYSONTOSAURUS. Exitinct after the Friday 13th massacre, the Tysontosaurus was tall with a long neck and brain the size of a partially-formed pea. This plant-eater tended to graze alone, perhaps because of the irritating noises it uttered. After the impact of the Leeandron, finds of this Dinosaur in Britain became very rare, as the Tysontosaurus appears to have spent more time in European locations. The Tysontosaurus had an off-white colour with giraffe like markings, which made it look as though it was wearing half a dozen pairs of underpants round its neck, hence its nick-name, 'Y-fronts'.

VANESSASAURUS. A long-forgotten Dinosaur that became extinct in the middle of the Wombledonian Period, this small, heavy plant-eater performed a wide variety of roles in the food-chain, tending to be taken for granted by most other Dinosaurs in the pack. Occasional outbursts when scorned by some of the carnivores covered an altruistic nature.

WILMOSAURUS. Plant-eating Dinosaur that disappeared in the early Jurassic Period, the Wilmosaurus was prone to writing a lot of nonsense about ships and dinosaurs, which - if you've got this far - evidently kept his old mates well entertained.